oh man the best is when a dude is like "you’re not wife material." fucking good. i want to be totalitarian dictator material; blood sucking life ruiner material; fucking bulletproof immortal drug lord material. not your fucking wife you gross asshole.
|louis:||how do you want your tea babe?|
|harry:||sugar milk and a baby would be nice|
|louis:||thank god temperature's raising next week|
|harry:||you know who's not raising|
|harry:||we are cause we don't have a baby to raise|
|louis:||lou teasdale called she wants to meet up tomorrow|
|harry:||oh nice she can bring her child to make up for our lack of one|
|louis:||concert's in an hour i'm so nervous|
|harry:||not for the birth of our baby i'm afraid|
|louis:||the lads are coming over for a movie tonight but i'm having trouble choosing one|
|harry:||well the footage of our child's first steps words dates and marriage is out of question|
|louis:||sorry love can you pass the salt?|
|harry:||sure lou can you pass me our baby?|
things girls dont like about boys
- "ew stop talking about tampons tmi"
- *draws penis on literally everything*
- "whoa chill out it’s just a joke"
- "yeah it’s 8 inches"
- "she looks like such a bitch"
- "lmao im such a lesbian"
- "if you like girls why dont you dress like one"
- "Yeah childbirth hurts but have you ever been kicked in the balls"
"period cramps cant be that bad”
"Jesus. Are you on your period?
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